The Word I Use Strategically

and the strategy behind it.

Here is a note on "the N word" (written for elders and conservative Black people, not the white gaze):

I am using asterisks for Substack because I'm not interested in being shadowbanned.

When I repost E.N.D. I do so proudly because their brand is built and mine is still developing.

I say the word casually with Black people every day.

I do not approve of anyone who does not move through the world as Black, saying it ever, not when reading a book aloud (except actors) or when singing a song. I make my stance clear to my Latine, mixed, and obviously white students and use it as historical education. I tend to censor my use of it (and profanity in general) in public and mixed company, so that I don't accidentally encourage non-Black use (or get shadowbanned).

I believe Amanda Seales was the first person I heard so very clearly explain that each Black person gets to choose to use or not use it as much as they want because it was our ancestors who paid for it with their literal blood.

Obviously, we all know it originated as a white insult. But our reclamation began early and solidified itself with the rise and staying power of hip hop. To the extent that it's possible I try to make everything I do make sense in the context of history. Black people are known for taking things back, for recontextualizing, remixing, and absolutely nothing is off limits. We have also done this with "b***h," and I only point that out for the following reason. I allude to/sample from Durand Bernarr's song in my Met Gala poem. Some (Black) people use n interchangeably with (Black) man. I do this but when I speak about us as a collective - n****s be/stay/love/hate - I am not excluding women and nonbinary folx. Bernarr's song "Mango Butter" includes a queering of terms that I live for. He sings "I'm a bad b***h and I'm that n****."